well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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