I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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