he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
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