I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize