It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
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Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
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'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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