just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize