Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
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Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
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I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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