I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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