we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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