So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
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We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
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yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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