I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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