And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Everclear isn't food dammit
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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