The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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