the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
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