had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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