Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Im part way to drunk.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize