He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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