highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
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There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
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Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
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