WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
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Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
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can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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