TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize