just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
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He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
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he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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