On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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