i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize