Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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