Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
this just has baby written all over it
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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