Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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