I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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