from now on my penis is your penis
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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