I'm really into asian looking animals
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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