Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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