It's Friday. Sex?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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