do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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