ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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