Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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