So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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