Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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