He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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