i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize