Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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