Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize