Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
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I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
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I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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