I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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