Three words: puerto rican gang bang
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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