so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
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He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
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just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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