i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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