I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
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I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
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Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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