I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
love makes seman taste better
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize