Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize