shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize