this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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